how we live

    (for alfian)

    i. three lost interviews

    This kind of question
    Better leave it to experts.

    like that i think better.
    last time buy rice where got name.
    now royal umbrella golden elephant
    phoenix all sort of brand also got.

    Of course what is left
    I will sent home,
    he thinks, paying
    the dark-eyed woman
    to come into his bunk.

    How we calculate the figures
    Is confidential. We don't want
    To influence the market.

    they promise MRT but
    train don't stop near our house.
    have to take feeder bus
    what to do.

    When the lights go out
    he remembers
    the warm body beside him
    is love.

    Show me the homeless.
    Show me the poor.
    We are not like Europe.
    We are not like America.

    i call up hotline to complain
    is it because i small people
    they cannot do for me is it
    why next block can i cannot
    is it because i not big shot.
    they say wait must check.

    Like this.
    O yes, do it like this.

    ii. ghazal

    Your son so clever, got into RI!
    How much you pay for tuition every month?

    How I carried my schoolbag last time.
    Now my right side lower than my left.

    How come you don?t like to play soccer,
    instead write what poems -- gay is it?

    You must make yourself more visible,
    else work but no one notice. Then how?

    How words come between. How they gag.
    How these fragile swallows yearn to flock.

    Poet you know this, and yet not how
    to live as if it mattered that you know.

    iii. history (i.m. 11.9.2001)

    It has a curious way of making you wait
    before striking. By day the usual blanks,
    the same quota of sunlight. Fleeing
    at night into sleep, into poetry which is
    another kind of dreaming. And then it
    flanks you like a predator. The news,
    the naked shock, the future's payload emptied
    into present. At once you know this is also
    how love ends, how verse begin to fail.
    That when a man wakes to find his lover
    gone, he does not weep, or write sonnets.
    He has breakfast, a cigarette, reads the paper
    to find history has taken its place without us,
    whatever our questions and our stories say.

18 October 2001   22:59 hours
allegory { } why we go to movies